… unless it makes you uncomfortable.
When did valuing your kids become discouraging them? When did caring enough to say, “Son, this doesn’t sound like a good idea.” become oppressive?
Those who love and respect you attribute value and virtue to you. To expect little or nothing of you is to belittle you. To expect greater things is to build you up to a higher standard, and believe in your potential.
It’s a confidence that you can meet a high standard.
Today, this is considered oppressive. Particularly for those standards which have been around the longest. Because newer standards are always better.
Apparently we’re all supposed to be pushed by every Wind of Doctrine, because failing to be moved by that wind is closing yourself to “new experiences” in the same way helping your children learn from the mistakes you’ve already made is trampling their dreams.
Setting standards speaks more about you than the person upon whom you’re setting them. If you don’t set them, what does that say about your valuation of the person?
What does it say about your love of that person?
If you love your kids and want the best for them, why should you stand idly by while they stagger into every bear trap, briar patch, and pitfall you’ve already experienced?
“Going to marry a man you just met in in Vegas? I can see nothing wrong with this. I hope it works out.”
“Haven’t made any effort to get a date and suddenly convinced you must be gay? Sure, Son. Seems like you’ve thought this through.”
“Going to water ski over a shark? Well the times; they are a-changin’… I guess it’s probably fine.”
Just say it.
Just tell your kids “I don’t care.” Because that’s what they hear.
Every time you “empower” them to make their own idiotic decisions or tepidly burble, “Well, if it makes you happy…” they get little warm fuzzy feeling that you support their decision, but in the back of their mind they wonder why you don’t care enough to tell them the truth. They know you have thoughts and opinions to add, and they know that you’ve chosen not to. They wonder why.
“Well Johnny, I’ve spent a lot of my life wandering and trying to figure out what my goals and aspirations were. I learned a lot of hard lessons, burned a lot of bridges, hurt a lot of people who didn’t deserve it, and failed more times than I can mention, and now, as you go out in the world I just want to say… Good luck with that.”
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